


The Nature of Dreams

by flaming_muse



Category: Glee
Genre: Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-18
Updated: 2012-05-18
Packaged: 2017-11-05 14:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/407422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flaming_muse/pseuds/flaming_muse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt goes searching for his pen in the choir room and finds Rachel there, too.</p>
<p>set during 3x21 ("Nationals")</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Nature of Dreams

In the afternoon, after the celebrations are over and everyone in New Directions finally has to go their separate ways, because the school year isn’t finished yet and neither are their other responsibilities, Kurt hurries back into the choir room in search of his missing pen - his favorite: a black fine point roller ball that glides across the paper like a figure skater. He’s halfway to the risers when he jumps and almost slips on the leftover confetti on the floor when he realizes that he’s not alone in the dimly lit room. Rachel is standing in front of the awards case, staring at their Nationals trophy.

“I wouldn’t put anything past this school, but I’m pretty sure no one’s going to steal it,” Kurt tells her, somehow managing to keep his balance as well as his composure and walking over to the chair he’d put his bag on earlier. He kneels down beside it and peers into the shadows underneath. “Besides, Mr. Schue locked the case.”

“I know,” Rachel replies over her shoulder, but she doesn’t move away from her spot.

Kurt finds that his pen had rolled into the narrow crack at the back of the riser step, so he nudges it out with the tips of his fingers and grabs it before it can roll back. He tucks it away and lets his bag slide off of his shoulder to rest on the ground.

He goes over to stand next to Rachel, following her gaze. The overhead fluorescents are off, so the room is in shadow apart from the light streaming in from the hallway, but the case has its own lighting. The plastic and base metal of the trophy shine almost like real gold.

It’s what they’ve been working for three years, and Kurt still feels giddy from the high of carrying it into the school as champions. His toes curl in his shoes and his pulse quickens at the thought. They did it. They _won_. After working so hard, after all of the drama and people walking out of the club, after all of the near wins and other disappointments, after slushies and mockery and in-fighting, they are the National show choir champions. All of them are. _He_ is.

Kurt’s heart beats that much faster. He really loves to win, especially he does it with all of his friends.

Still...

“When I first joined Glee Club, I imagined the trophy would be bigger,” he says, tilting his head and studying it from a slightly different angle. It’s certainly big, but it isn’t the towering, glowing monument he’d pictured it being. It doesn’t make him feel quite as triumphant as he’d thought it would to look at it in there.

Rachel laughs, the sound a bit watery. “I know what you mean. Although, to be fair you _were_ about seven inches shorter back then.”

Kurt laughs, too, and draws himself up like he’s affronted. He is, but only a little. “Not _seven_ ,” he says. “And at least I grew, unlike some people in the room.”

“I like being petite,” Rachel replies with a flick of her hair. “Besides, if I’d gotten taller it might have changed my voice.”

There’s an edge of worry there that Kurt doesn’t like. He knows she’s still fighting as hard as she can for the spot at NYADA she deserves, but he also knows her well enough to know how the process has left her shaken. It’s a strange, unsettling thing to see Rachel Berry shaken. “You’re more than just your voice, Rachel,” he tells her softly. “But it is magnificent. We won because of you.”

“We won because of everyone.” She steps in a little closer, and Kurt puts his arm around her shoulder and lets her rest against him with her own arm slipping around his waist. “I mean, thank you, of course my contribution was not insignificant, but all of us won, Kurt. That’s the point, right?”

“Yes.” He squeezes her against his side. “All of us - this strange, at times dysfunctional family we’ve become.”

She hugs him back and tips her head onto his shoulder for a second. “We won,” she says. “I can’t believe it. But I can, you know?”

Nodding, Kurt smiles. They’d worked so hard, and they deserved it. “I know.”

“This was our year.” Her smile is bright as she looks up at him, her eyes shining with tears. “Even if not everything has gone the way we planned, this was our year, Kurt.”

“It was.” He can feel tears sparking in his own eyes from all that’s gone the way they’ve wanted and all that hasn’t: theatrical roles, student government positions, relationships, friendships, competitions, injuries, applications, auditions... It’s been a mixed bag of ups and downs, but it’s been theirs. Somehow, it’s almost over.

“Someone even asked for my autograph today,” she says with a hint of wonder. “Only in the Yearbook, but...“

“It won’t be the last time,” he promises her.

“Kurt, did you find your - “ Blaine’s voice in the doorway makes them both startle, but they don’t pull away from each other as they look over their shoulders at him. Blaine stops in his tracks and then takes a step back toward the hallway as his gaze flicks over them. “Sorry. I’ll wait out in the car. Take your time.” He turns to go and leave them alone again, polite as ever.

“You don’t have to go, Blaine,” Rachel calls to him. “It’s your trophy, too.”

Blaine’s eyes meet Kurt’s in question, and Kurt nods. Blaine smiles and comes over, his easy stride entirely unhampered by the slick layer of confetti that had almost dropped Kurt onto the floor. He stops beside Kurt’s unoccupied side and bounces up onto his toes. “We won Nationals!”

Rachel laughs at the raw enthusiasm in his voice, and Kurt has to comment, “I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard that exact phrase in that exact tone over the past day and a half.”

“We won _Nationals_ , Kurt!” Blaine says to him even more brightly. His teasing grin is huge, and in the safety of the otherwise quiet room and the supportive company of Rachel Kurt reaches out to offer Blaine his hand. Blaine takes it immediately, as he always does, and laces their fingers together in that perfect way like their hands were designed just to fit each other.

The trophy looks a little bit more sparkly to Kurt with two of his favorite people in the world beside him basking in its glow and in the memory of what they accomplished together.

Still, he’d really thought it would be bigger.

“Prom Queen and show choir champion,” Rachel muses. “A perfect end to my senior year.” She doesn’t sound anywhere nearly as happy as Blaine, though, and Kurt feels her sigh in the circle of his arm.

“You were amazing, Rachel,” Blaine tells her.

“Thank you,” she replies graciously, and Kurt’s not even jealous of the praise because she _was_ amazing. She always is, even when she’s being her most annoying. He’s not sure if he loves that or hates that about her.

“It’s going to be hard to win Nationals again next year without you guys,” Blaine says with a little frown at the trophy.

“Are you kidding?” Kurt squeezes Blaine’s hand. “With Finn gone, you’ll get all of the male solos. No judge will be able to resist you.”

“Personally, I happen to find Finn even more irresistible,” Rachel says with a sniff. “No offense, Blaine.”

Kurt nudges her with his hip as Blaine laughs and says, “None taken.”

Rachel giggles and then adds more thoughtfully, “Tina’s voice is strong, too. You two will sound great together. I’m sure you can do it.”

Blaine lifts onto his toes again. “Two in a row,” he says, his voice filled with a dreamy wonder Kurt can only share from a distance, because as much as he believes in Blaine Kurt won’t be on stage with him to enjoy another win if they have it. At most, he’ll be in the audience. It’s just not the same. He’ll celebrate Blaine and his other friends, of course, but he won’t be a part of it.

That thought twists like a worm in Kurt’s gut. Whatever happens with New Directions, Kurt won’t be a part of it. He is happy to be graduating, but that fact is unsettling: New Directions will be moving on without him. He’ll only be able to watch from the outside.

He’s been the outsider within New Directions, but apart from his exile at Dalton he hasn’t been the outsider _from_ New Directions.

He’s not sure how he’s going to feel about that.

Of course, Kurt reminds himself, he’ll have a whole new life in New York - he hopes, if NYADA accepts him - to replace it. By next year it won’t hurt so much not to be on that stage beside Blaine. The win, as amazing as it is, feels less impressive compared with his dreams of accomplishments ahead. It’s the very exciting feather in the cap of his high school career, but it isn’t everything that he wants looking out into the future.

Kurt has _so much_ he wants in the future. He’s checked off almost all of his goals here, and he’s ready to start reaching for bigger ones.

Blaine leans forward to take a closer look at the trophy, though he doesn’t let go of Kurt’s hand. “It’s going to be a good reminder to stay focused to see this here every day next year. You guys are leaving some big shoes to fill. We’re going to have to work to keep up with what you did.”

“We all won it,” Rachel reminds him. “It’s yours as much as ours.” There’s a touch of queen-addressing-her-favored-subject in her tone, but it’s affectionate, so Kurt can’t bristle at the condescension she hadn’t been showing a few minutes earlier when it was just the two of them.

Blaine shakes his head. “You’ve been here since day one. Most of us haven’t. I mean, I just jumped on your coattails this year. You were the ones who earned it the most.”

“Blaine - “ Kurt starts, because if Blaine doesn’t believe this is _his_ , too, then Kurt’s missed something important somewhere about Blaine not feeling like he’s fitting in even after he reconciled with Finn.

“That’s not a bad thing, Kurt,” Blaine says. “You’re seniors. You’re the backbone of Glee Club. You got us here. I’m not saying we didn’t contribute, only that it’s your win. You should be proud.”

Rachel leans into Kurt a bit more, and he’s glad for the familiar press of her against his side. Even though they fought through some of it and were rivals for way too many parts and people, she’s been there with him the whole way. It seems impossible to picture her not being at his side at NYADA. It seems impossible to picture her not being his friend for the rest of his life, because she’s more than a friend. Even without her being engaged to Finn - and maybe it isn’t _quite_ as alarmingly stupid of an idea when he thinks of it like this - Rachel is in her own way Kurt’s family.

“We are,” she says to Blaine, unaware of Kurt’s train of thought.

“We should put some pictures up to inspire the new people next year, too,” Blaine says. “So that they can see, you know?”

“I have a wide variety of headshots if you’d like to choose one,” Rachel offers. “Or a few.”

Blaine’s smile is fond. “Thank you, Rachel, but I was thinking more like photos from our performances.”

“Oh. Well, I’m sure that would be inspiring, too. The offer stands if you change your mind.”

Blaine squeezes Kurt’s hand and swings it between them, and Kurt feels both anchored and torn between the melancholy of leaving with Rachel on one side and the excitement of the current triumph with Blaine on the other. “Kurt? Are you okay?” Blaine asks, and Kurt realizes he’s still sort of frowning at the case with the weight of the future, both of New Directions here and himself elsewhere, on his shoulders.

Things are changing. He’s happy, he’s ready, but they’re changing. So is his perspective. Maybe that’s why the trophy looks so different; he’s seeing it from a different angle than he would have even a year ago. He’s seeing it from further away.

“Yes,” Kurt says, shaking himself out of it because he’s not ready to give up the joy of winning just yet. The melancholy thoughts can wait for another day. He looks down at Rachel. “Where’s Finn?”

“In the weight room,” she replies. “He wanted to use up some of his extra energy, he said.”

“Pumping because he’s pumped,” Blaine adds with a grin.

Kurt rolls his eyes. How can he possibly be in love with someone who says things like that? Love really is blind. “Well, if we can pull him away from that with the promise of food, I think the four of us should go out for a celebratory frozen yogurt.”

“Only if they have sorbet or something else without dairy,” Rachel reminds him.

“We know, Rachel.”

“I’m in,” Blaine says. He glances between Kurt and Rachel and the way they’re still holding onto each other. “Do you want me to go get him?”

Since Rachel seems disinterested in letting go and Kurt’s phone is across the room in his bag so he can’t reach it to text he says, “That would be great. Thank you.”

“Okay.” Blaine smiles at them both. “We’ll meet you back here?”

“We’ll be here,” Kurt says.

Blaine squeezes his hand, and after he leaves them alone Kurt and Rachel turn back to the trophy case.

“We won, Kurt,” Rachel says softly, sliding her other arm around his waist.

Kurt pulls her into the full hug she obviously wants and nods against the top of her head. “We did.”

Rachel hugs him back for all she’s worth; she’s quite strong when she puts her mind to it. “We really did it. We really won. After everything, after three years of hard work, after so many bumps in the road, just barely in time we finally did.”

“I know,” Kurt says with a fierce smile, because even if there’s bigger and better to come this is something else no one can ever take away from them. “And if this feels good imagine how your first Tony will feel.”

Rachel’s laugh sounds suspiciously like a sob against his chest, but she nods and pulls back, smoothing her hair and wiping a tear off of her cheek.

He’s not sure what to do because he knows when her heart is aching that Rachel doesn’t always want comfort, but it’s hard to stand there and not reach out again. She may still be fighting for her future, but he thinks he’s more sure of that future than she is in this moment. She’s always going to be a star.

“Do you think that’ll seem smaller than we expected once we have one, too?” she asks softly.

“Maybe,” Kurt says, “but that’s why we’ll need a few more to go along with the first.”

Rachel laughs again, this time more properly. “I like how you think, Kurt Hummel.”

Kurt smiles back a little. “I just awarded you a handful of future Tonys; of course you do.”

“Well, yes. But I like you for a lot more than that.”

While he silently basks in the comment, she pulls her phone out of her bag and takes a quick picture of the trophy by itself and then grabs his arm and tugs him in front with her, holding out her arm to try to frame them both in the shot.

“Let me; mine are longer,” he says, and he captures them both doing their best poses to camera. He texts the image to himself before he hands the phone back. He definitely wants that one; he got the smize just right. Besides, it’s a moment to remember, the two of them after their last triumph of high school and on their way to new successes ahead.

“Okay,” Rachel says on a drawn-out exhalation. “I think I’m done. Are you?”

Kurt nods. He has his pen, his photo, and his friends. He doesn’t need anything else here.

They look at the trophy behind its glass, tucked away for posterity like a museum piece or one of the old dust-covered award plaques that line the school hallways with pictures of long-forgotten students, for another long moment before she reaches out and switches off the display lights. They’ll be on again tomorrow, and Kurt’s sure Glee Club will celebrate their win all over again with more singing and probably more confetti, but for now they are going to enjoy the glow from each other, their boyfriends, and their still big, bright hopes for the future, like New York, like their amazing careers, like their even more amazing loves, like -

“Ice cream!” Finn announces, bounding through the doorway and breaking the spell.

Kurt sighs and turns toward him. “Frozen yogurt,” he says pointedly.

“Sorbet is just as delicious and is also animal-friendly,” Rachel adds even more pointedly.

Finn’s eyes shift between them both. “Well, um, I know, but I was kind of thinking about having one of those sundaes with the nuts and - “

“While I would _never_ want to infringe on your freedom of choice - “ Rachel begins.

“Hey,” Blaine says, stopping just inside of the darkened room, “why are all of the lights off?”

Kurt picks up his bag from the riser and walks over to him.

“Because,” he replies with one last look at the trophy case and a quiet sense of a door about to close, “it’s time for us to go.”


End file.
